Friday, April 9, 2010

LUSTRIA CHAINED



Cardinal Slavbulka the Not so Faint Hearted, the Third, licked his lips. "Dammit" the toad belched, trying to shake the pesky furry tail stuck to his tongue loose, the small animal it had belonged to was already being digested in the big toads belly. "I hate these goddamn tails, all the tasty ones have these goddamn tails!" The Cardinal grasped the small tail in an opulent ring encrusted hand and gave a hard yank, the tail came off and the toads tongue flipped back involuntarily, slapping the cardinal in his eye "Garmpfunk" he uttered, sliding his thick sticky tongue back into his mouth.
THUMP THUMP came a knock at the Cardinals door. "Who is it?" asked the Cardinal abruptly. A muffled response "T t t t ti ti ti's I, Thire, Waral, here with the prithoner". "With the WHAT?" yelled the toad. "Pri pri prithoner". The toad rolled his eyes, "the PRISONER, you IDIOT!", "Thath what I thaid, your highneth" came the reply "May w w w we enter?"
Waral loomed over Lustria, the big lizards long thin tongue slithered in and out of his mouth, licking the air very close to Lustria's mouth, "Im gu gu gu gu gunna eat you all up thexy...li li li li lick you li li li li like a lolly" Waral salivated as he spoke, well tried to speak. The lizard had speech impediments but made up for it with sheer brute intimidation. Not one for arguments or talk back, that suited the Cardinals needs perfectly.
"Yes yes Waral, bring her in." Said the Cardinal, Waral and Lustria entered the chamber.
The Cardinal looked up, one eye feeling slightly swollen, his gaze drifted down Lustria's body as she was being hauled into the room, chained. "Ah, how nice to see you, my dear." The Cardinal said. "Let me go!" Lustria demanded, "Oh no my dear Lustria, you have seen too much and I have big plans for you," Lustria opened her mouth to protest, the Cardinal raised his hand "SILENCE!" he went on, "You will have the greatest honour behest to some very special citizens, of my choosing of course, of this wondrous city!" the toad grinned as he spoke, "You will be going to the Inner Sanctum of the Vestal Virgins of Solitary Silence!".
"Thilenth" Waral echoed and stifled a giggle. The Cardinal flashed Waral a stern look to which Waral dropped his head as if shamed.
"What's more, Lustria" the toad paused to stand up, "Only I will be allowed to enter your Sanctum chamber, a privilege given to me, as the donatee of the virgin citizen, erm… that would be you," the toad pointed a fat finger at Lustria. He continued, "Such a great honour! For centuries this city has donated virgins to help do the good work, and it is of my opinion, dear Lustria, that a life of solitary and complete silence is perfect for you!"

Monday, April 5, 2010

Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

OLICK THE TERRIBLE




The club smashed into Olicks head sending him to the ground. Olicks mind reeled, "transform" he thought desperately "TRANSFORM NOW!" The Hog raised the club once more, he grabbed the handle with both hands, his gleaming eyes taking dead aim at Olicks head.
Olick imagined himself as a raging, muscle bound, fierce battle Rhino "transform, transform!"
With an almighty THUD the club crashed into the ground, Olick felt himself dematerialise, his body particles fizzing and popping into thin air. The hog stumbled forward, blinking with confusion, he fully expected to have a smashed pulp of a head under his club. "What the?!" he exclaimed, examining the business end of his club for pulverised remains and finding nothing of the sort.
Olick found himself stuck to the dungeon wall.
"oh...wonderful, I'm snot" Olick thought as his now amorphous body dribbled down the wall.
The hog looked perplexed as he bent down and dipped his hand into Olick. Hog sniffed at it ," Mmm smells like snot." Hog licked Olick, "Yarp tastes like snot" he grunted, "must be snot". Attempting to shake the gloop off his hand but failing, he opted for smearing it off on the back of his pants instead. Hog, still confused looked around for Olick but being of small mindedness and receiving no instant stimulation quickly grew bored and slothed his way out of the gates of the city to where equally defunct guards stood around trying to eat a small wicker basket.

OLICK THE TERRIBLE

OLICK knew he could count on the rats...